Indecisiveness While Drowning | A Poem

It's too late in the year

To try and hibernate my voice beneath the crushing dalles carving the bed I now tumble through

the waters carry me;

rushing to form the riptide at the gaping mouth with my shaking hands.

I say that if I had a way to tell you, I would;

I do, and still

I haven't.

I can see shadows darting back and forth atop the canyon walls

arms flail about in panicked shivers 

or maybe it's just the wind jostling pedestrians with unwanted opinions.

I left you a note seared into pine wood with lava tongue

and somehow you knew,

and you reached for me.

Your fists releasing localized compressions against my chest I gasped for air and that was when

you kissed me.

I don't want to believe that all the moments of our paralleled lives have been building to this final termination,

But everything is flowing away,

passing me by in beguiling whispers

and the grains of all the past tendernesses

are cutting my palms with the white caps

while I drown

tumbling in this fresh water

towards the culmination of every solution that I ever offered.

Maybe I will tell you now,

before I am swallowed whole

before it's too late